ME. Let's Dig Deeper.

hi Im Shandy. I am not what you expect me to be. I am not like everybody else. I tend to be different. I dont TRY to be different. Im just different...which is hard.

I have a dad, who rarely lives with us. I grew up with my mom, my sister and our maid. That's fine by me. My mom made a perfect job for being a dad and a mom to me and my sister. We always shop together, go to salons and eat out. My mom favored me back then coz i was the young one, i was always with her wherever she goes. Whenever my dad's around, it's a military standard procedure for his daughters. We werent allowed to play outside (such a tragic news for kids who have the whole neighborhood as playmates), Eating, waking up hours, taking a bath, watching tv and all else have rules too. I mean stricly obtained. He on the other side, favored my sister. So much. Which caused our sister rivalry that rooted since childhood. My sister had an advantage. She wasnt hurted that much and infact i think she never was. My dad would give her everything and i would just have those old toys. Whenever he implies a new rule, i was the one who suffered.
I was made to believe that whenever i recieve a punishment, it is because it's my fault. And I used to think that I was just a bad little kid that is why I went through those. It's normal though to other children to be discipline. But only now that I realized that what he did to me before was way beyond.
One day, like all dumb kids, I tried to be picasso and i tried to draw a man (stick man) on a wall using my crayola. My dad went gaga and disciplined me. He cursed me, shouts and were so mad that his face turned scarlet. He used his belt on me. And pointed at me his balisong and i really thought he was gonna kill me but he didnt. He locked a 3yrs old me in a room for a day with nothing to eat and noone's allowed to talk to me.
My sister's typing at our laptop and i accidentally hit her while i was running around, so the sreen flapped at her nose. The bitch cried. She wasnt hurt that much, I can tell cause it didnt hit on her that hard. But I still said Sorry. She went making sumbong to my dad. My dad made me go to the master bedroom with him and hit me real hard with his belt. No talking involved. Just kept on hitting me until my knees bled.
I went through much sessions of my belt-hitting-dad. One was when I forgot to turn off the fan. Those were just other examples. There was too many. Whenever I try to tell my mom about it, he'd deny it. He said that I was a liar and there goes another session of punishment again.

I was verbally and physically abused. I dont know why he hate me that much. I can feel his anger and I was just made to believe that everything was my fault. My mom just acted like nothing's happening and that everything is normal. But I ran to her whenever I cry, she was my only ally. And I can tell that she was the only one who have loved me. It's just that, she too, was afraid of my dad.

This goes until I became a teenager. He went home when I was 16, and one night I arrived home for about 10 in the eve. He was so mad that he hit me with his ol' belt again but that time, the buckle's the one hitting on me and he was holding in his hand the other end. I tell you, It was real pain. I was wishing for it to stop, just stop but it went through like for an hour. I wasnt allowed to cry loud whenever im punished cause itll only add up and lengthen the time for punishing me-forgot to tell you. But that time, I cried so loud. And it hurts so much that i can feel my back bleeding. My mom went upstairs and tried to stop my dad. He pushed my mom out the door and slammed it. He locked the door and continued hitting me. After that, when he got tired he forced me to take a bath, fix myself and im not suppose to act like something just happened.

The next day at school, I was called by the discipline officer. I was caught smoking along with my other friends. I had a chance to have one-on-one talk with my adviser, and I dont know how it came but I told her about what just happened last night. She saw my bruises at my back and in my legs. She brought me to the principal.

It was explained to me. That even though I commited a mistake and that there was something to blame. My parents does not have a right to hurt me that way. Some disciplines their child but not to that extent. It was clear that I am a child that is a victim of verbal and physical abuse. What happened to me does not look or sound as harsh as the others you see in TV but she said, our principal, that what my father did was already an abuse.

To be con't..